The Good, The Meh, The Bad and The Unheard: Part Three - The Bad

There were only a couple of albums that I absolutely despised this year, which says one of two things: either I didn’t listen to nearly enough music; or I’m paying less and less attention to music that’s coming out.  I’m afraid it might be the latter, as my list of “The Unheard” is quite long.

The Misfits – Devil’s Rain
Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, there are only two recognizable versions of The Misfits: the version with Danzig and the version sans Danzig.  This third incarnation is just a shameless attempt to keep selling products emblazoned with the crimson ghost—the band’s iconic mascot.  Sole, original member, Jerry Only, has taken on the vocal duties for this album and, the fact that the guy can carry a tune notwithstanding, his voice isn’t meant for The Misfits.  Only would have been better off creating a completely different band and starting from scratch.  Instead, he’s ruining one of the most heralded horror punk bands in music history and ruining the value of the band at the same time. 

Sure, the production is great; the lyrical content is standard and all that elemental, basic stuff.   But there isn’t a single second of true, noteworthy material on Devil’s Rain (shy for the album cover) that would make a long-standing Fiend want to stand up and say, “Hell, I don’t even miss Glenn Danzig or Michael Graves.”  Jerry Only, you should be ashamed of yourself.  At least your brother’s work in his group Gorgeous Frankenstein is just mediocre on its own merit; you’re tarnishing your own history books pal, and that’s despicable.

Abyssal Creatures – Social Awkwardness
Reasonably speaking this is the only album that I’ve heard all year that was simply god-awful.  The only album that was a musical abortion of gargantuan proportions.  The only album that caused me to cringe every five seconds.  The only album I've ever reviewed that received a "0" star rating.  Devil’s Rain would have fallen in the “meh” category if it didn’t have 30-plus years of history attached to the band.  But this.  This was just torture.  Dick Cheney could have gotten more out of the prisoners he “interrogated” with this album than any water-boarding session. 

I do applaud the band’s creator, Ian Fellerman, for taking the time to craft something he felt passionate about.  I just wish he’d have taken the criticism differently.  Instead of accepting the fact that his album was crap, he would fire back at various reviewers with the positive pieces he received.  And, in reading those pieces, I honestly don’t think those writers were listening to the same album—or they were being positive out of pity.  Either way, Fellerman wiped away what little respect I had for him as a fledgling artist with that move.  It’s not my fault, sir, that your work is pathetic at best.

All that remains for my year-end list is the unheard.  I’m sure I’ll get some crap for not spinning these records but, hey, no one is perfect.  I’m sure I’ll get around to hearing them as I do most of my hallowed albums—in my own time. 

In the meantime, if there’re albums I missed or rated incorrectly, I welcome your feedback.